Ave Via

 

with reverence

or from the old Norse, kept in check

frightened, restrained, disciplined, fit: ave

 

in the manner or way of a grandfather

birds, small birds

a formal expression of greeting

 

water birds, song birds, wading birds

of paradise, of passage, of prey—

 

ave migratoria

now and in the hour of our death

 

90th Ave, beautifully remodeled

55th Ave, a bungalow ready for your move-in

23rd Ave, originally built as an ammunition box factory during World War II 

 

the trees that lined them then 

the pre-wood trees 

 

in pre-dawn light 

I reawoke to find myself 

 

upon the course of this

upon the road 

 

in the middle of the war against nurses and patient care

half way along the road we have to go, three cranes

 

on every side a hospital 

a hospital complex

 

the transit village

this our mortal life

more than 600 workers hidden from view

water flowing underground

 

the RCA TV repair shop

the hot mess house

vanished in a maze

 

I found myself again

 

found myself astray

struggling, obscured

 

I woke in wonder

in night sweats

 

within a forest dark

within 30 days

 

I found that I had strayed into The Forest, an American horror film, The Forest,
a survival video game, The Forest, a plantation

 

I woke in wonder in literature sunless and dusky—an 1871 play, a 1903 novel—

The Forest

 

I was eating a bagel, hand-rolled

boiled in honey water, baked in a wood fired oven 

Montreal-style

 

either that, or I was eating an oyster

 

all along the wall

a ladder

 

I found myself again

climbing

 

through a night-dark wood, wellbutrin 

there were no good choices

and they wouldn’t answer my email

 

I came onto myself

when halfway through 

 

for I did not have a child

for I had moved in a leisurely, casual, or aimless way

 

confused and with the middle class at strife

 

wherein men’s salaries continue to grow until age 48 

reaching $95,000 per year on average

 

wherein your family obtains coverage under an individual policy

where, in Jackson county, do they rent to felons

 

same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was

within a shadowed forest

 

that men pursue 

the course of this

 

our life

so drear 

 

close to the heart of many cafes and shops

153,000 women aged 50 to 64 out of work

 

letting the days go by

in a park-like setting of trees, gardens, greenbelts, and ponds

 

where not a vestige of the uncultivated area legally set aside for hunting by feudal nobility shewed

 

for the hard fibrous structural tissue was lost, 

stems and roots

 

for a new job and get resume and career tips

for a graph of sea level changes

water jets, seaweed wraps, mud baths, and sea-fog inhalation

appeared not anywhere

 

for I had lost the path

when I lost the straight and narrow waist

 

when halfway through I found I had vanished

I had been lost to view

 

alone in a dark wood?

cut your hair

 

for I had wandered when I had cramps, migraine, bloat, breast tenderness, mood

swings, foggy thinking, losing height

 

got drunk, wandered into a multi-million dollar mansion, promptly shot in the hip

 

wandered up to the student housing area dripping blood

 

bears, seals, old men, deer, young women, raccoons— wandered into town

through automatic doors about three-quarters of a mile from home 

 

like a lost sheep

to a barren land

 

I awoke between two families 

or subdivisional hierarchies of the same family

 

I found myself between a browser and a search engine, a CV and a resume

between a facebook page and a facebook group, a large phone and a tablet

between pathway financial management and pathway capital partners 

between the rightful owner and rightful speech

 

a recession and a depression

the speedup, the slowdown

 

your landlord, or anyone acting for your landlord

in tangled ways

 

way off course

way upon 

 

the precipice of this economy

the dark woods wherein a person cries out

 

mid-journey

I was made aware

 

I had a hand in that which guided me 

through this barren land 

 

this straight up straightforward shadowy 

gloomy gloom-dark path 

 

this rightful straight narrow trek

this oath and journey

 

Clove and Hoof

Hog’s Apothecary

 

pretty sure I completely lost it

 

so which me did

and which me didn’t?

 

I came to in the neighborhood

 

coveted for its central location, cultural diversity, great climate

the many storied properties have good bones—the breath of new life flows through—

 

two spacious areas, original wood floors

updated Jack and Jill bathroom and walk-in closet

 

for I had—I knew that I had

dark wood

and never painted over

 

I’d tear it off

before I let the owner have it

 

for I knew I had 

myself bewildered 

the path direct, had failed to keep it

and the people I loved in the woods

where are they now? 

 

where in the United States can you live off the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour?

 

what was it I even wanted 

in the woods, from them—

 

a little house?

and a great forest, what is that

 

a prairie, or a swamp

after the money’s gone

 

wholly lost and gone

since missed the right way

into the blue again

 

I do not even like that song

 

 

my meme

 

when people waiting on your downfall but you the goat

cling to the side of a vertical hill

 

Brandon’s has a guy with a tub of chicken nuggets

one hand reaching in. she asked me if I do this every day

I said often

 

the goat is basically kitten on a branch 

from a decade that could only produce one macro

profit’s decline. hang in there, Pacifica

hang in there poor people 

and poor people’s apartments 

about to fall into the ocean is also my meme 

 

the view from that cliff is amazing

wind moving yellow flowers

the weeds throw up, dank overgrown patio 

I gaze on through the bars of a fence my lover installed 

like the neighbor’s security system of broken cars

my meme is everywhere

 

Vitamin D, the kombucha of champagne 

 

when you eat a fruit and feel healthy AF 

when you drink water when you hit snooze 

80 times and now you’ve got three minutes to leave the house

when you run out of excuses: will likely be a little late 

because of who I am as a person, I can’t see my haters 

because I got cum in my eyes

 

not really all that different

not different at all

 

Alli’s meme is basically inscrutable

scorpio memes

 

Lauren and Tony’s when you know the solutions to all ur problems

but u just don’t wanna do them, two baby goats

one nose pointed up the other down

somewhere beyond procrastination

 

I don’t think those goats are interested in class mobility

I don’t understand where extreme alpine climbers get the money 

or how it even works, all the gear, photo shoots, national geographic

 

those are the best movies to watch when you have a cold 

that comes on sneezing followed by a total emotional breakdown 

bromances about a sport you could never imagine getting close enough to fail at

you may be full of mucous and unable to think but at least

 

you are not a man among men

hanging from the side of a mountain 

eating frozen couscous 

 

because when bae says we gotta GO are you ready 

it’s just this cyclone of makeup and hairspray 

with 50 shades of yellow spongebob at the center

that’s my meme, and everything’s a bromance documentary 

where life is trying to destroy you 

when people waiting on your downfall

but you the goat

cling to the side of a vertical hill 

 

when you find your meme 

don’t let go

put it in a folder on your desktop 

in case of no internet

 

those are my people

I am their parents 

wind comes through the window and feels good on my face 

 

the block throws up a tremendous shout

smell of soup, music, refrigerators, guns, a mattress

today the landlord did not sell our house

 

somewhere a cat steals pizza

somewhere a cat plays the drums 

 
Joomla SEF URLs by Artio

Buy Lana Turner #9

Issue 9 is HERE!

Order Now

@ltjournal on Twitter