There were seeds missing from the watermelon
we complain plain plain plained. Did you count them
There were seventy-five. How do you pronounce
croissant? Bridge of sighs, bridge of sighs. The job


... evolutionist is to help everyone
evolve. Adroit if nothing else, Roderick
the picnic waiter, stepped among ...


reclining nongs, dweebs and spongers. A splash

... virtue there, a bolstering slice. It wasn’t

... phone manner but phone illness. The idea
had come upon Roderick in Gelden’s private
cinema while he held the old man’s head
in his lap. Then the cameo on ...


tram. The water would be warm enough in

... couple more weeks. A fried potato ...

dry leek. The food comes from or goes to


... lap. Why read Romantic poetry (Long
live seduction!) to someone who’s already
in your bed? Drivel is far preferable
opined Roderick silently; his hero

John Gielgud. Cabbage was a divider
he’d noticed. Coleslaw was more popular 

than cooked: its popularity directly
related to the percentage of dressing
in the serve. Today it was swimming. What
colour are lemons? What colour’s lemon
skin? Lemon skin handbag; lemon fur coat
Someone was drunk (deranged?) enough to draw
hopscotch squares with dark chocolate. Roderick was
urged to desist from walking in them, or
to have the decency to hop through them
Carrying a flambé goose or banana
with a sparkler: he didn’t think ...


insurance covered such mishaps. He  
remembered – or was it a dream – falling
down steps carrying twenty cherry sundaes


... dislocating his elbow? The nurse combed
cream from his mo; his chef’s hat ruined ...


Look how much dressing you have: the waiter
must like you. We ready ourselves for ...


pip-spitting war. The loo has a queue as
long as your once-doggy, now fishy face
There were once some fish. Single or married
Married, of course. Those that passed out had coffee
beans inserted in their nostrils. This might’ve
amused Roderick, had he a brace of mice
trained to scratch them out, dragging the victims’
single origin souls behind them. Instead
he placed a fan by the grater. It blew
a fine Parmesan dust over the sleepers 






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